"Small" Things You Can Do For Women's Land On Your First Visit

"Dyke March" by sea turtle is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Giving Back To Women's Land 

So you're a 20-something who wants to visit women's land, but you're worried you don't have anything to offer the women on the land. 

You don't have to have specific skills to contribute, everything is valuable to some degree. 

Here's some stuff you can probably do. 

1. Bring A Snack To Share

Who doesn't like a good snack? Further, sharing food is one cool way to start bonding with other women. 

“When we share food, it shows trust — it shows we're willing to give up some of our resources, and it shows we want to get close with someone," from Omri Gillath who is a professor of psychology at University of Kansas. You can read more about how sharing food shows trust here.  

Consider bringing some food to offer on your first visit to women's land. Good food ideas are light, shareable snacks like muffins, chips and salsa/guac or cookies. Keep in mind that some women on the land may be vegetarian or vegan. It's considered socially acceptable to ask if any women have dietary restrictions if you want to bring food to share before a visit. 

2. Ask Questions About Women's Land History 

Lesbian-majority communities transmit a significant amount of information through oral tradition. Many secrets about on women's lands are never written down, only told from woman to woman. 

When you're visiting women's land, you can ask questions about the history of the women's land. Every woman who started a women's land has a story, and it's usually a doozy. Ask her about it. 

You can also ask other women who live on the land or are visiting for a time, how they first found out about that particular women's land. 

When you ask questions about women's land history, you are figuratively joining hands with the thousands of women who have participated in this oral tradition.  

As a younger person, showing an active interest in your local women's land will surely be appreciated by the older women who live there. 

3. Offer To Lift Heavy Things

Since many of the women running women's land today are in their 60s or 70s, some have more limited mobility than they did when they were younger. 

Since women who run women's lands tend to be fiercely independent, don't be surprised if this is a bit of a sensitive topic for some women. 

If you are physically able, it will probably be appreciated if you offer to help lift anything heavy that needs lifting.  

For someone who may have been unable to lift the heavy thing themselves, this could be a huge help.    

While you might expect women to feel comfortable asking for your help, note that pride can sometimes get in the way of that. You can even say something like "...and by the way, while I'm here, if anyone needs help lifting something heavy today, you'll save me a trip to the gym."

4. Bring A Friend To Women's Land

If you don't want to go alone to women's land for the first time, bring a friend! Make sure you ask the women you're in contact with on the land if you can bring a friend first, and don't be surprised if they want her to go through the same vetting process you did (although they may allow you to vouch for her). 

Bringing a friend to women's land can be one way to lessen any social anxiety you may have about your first visit. It's also a cool way to introduce new friends to the idea of women's land, and compare notes after. 

This is especially a cool idea if your local women's land is a few hours away by car because you can make it into a road trip with your friend. 

5. Ask Questions About Skills

Many older women on women's land are very willing and interested in teaching younger women cool new skills, like woodworking, car repair, permaculture, organic farming, animal care and much more. 

While you're visiting women's land for the first time, ask questions about how specific structures were built. Where did they come from? Who built them? How? This is a good way to start feeling out what you could potentially learn from women on the land who might be willing to share what they know. 

So, if you're interested in learning new skills, start by keeping an eye out for women who might be willing to teach you. Ask questions about who built what, to find out which women have which specific skills. Then, indicate your interest in being taught (OUT LOUD, IN WORDS) to give older women the opportunity to give back to our younger generation. 

6. Expressing Gratitude

Saying thank you is free. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and women who run women's lands have typically poured out their share of blood sweat and tears to keep the land running. 

Feel free to get creative with it, but if you're looking for ideas, you can always thank the women on the land for letting you visit, and/or for keeping your local women's land running all these years! 

7. Tell Them How You Found Them

Women's lands will nearly always ask how you found them. 

Partially, I'd say that's curiosity, but partially, some lands want to attract more young women and are probably asking for that reason. 

If you happened to find them through contacting the author of this blog, tell them about it! If they don't know about the Women's Land Map yet, show them this form to fill out so they can be listed if they so choose. 

Find Women's Land In Your State

To find women's land near you, visit the women's land map. Reach out directly to the women's land in your area, or in an area you'll be travelling to, for more info about how you can visit. Expect to undergo a vetting process that can be as quick as a phone call or as extensive as an in-person meetup.  

If you are a lesbian in the United States, or a woman of any sexual orientation who wants to learn more about women's lands near you, email findwomensland at gmail dot com to get information about women's lands in your local area.